A lot of people misunderstand why a woman stays in an abusive relationship. They say things like: "If a man ever hit ME, I would walk right out the door! It would be the first and last time he ever laid a hand on me like that!" Or, "I would never stand for a man calling me a bad name. If my husband ever treated me poorly, I'd file for divorce!"
The misunderstanding is vast. The misunderstanding is what keeps women's shelters all across our country begging for money to sustain their operations because so many people believe if a woman is abused it is her fault.
Let that sink in.
If you believe that you would never "allow" a man to abuse you, you must believe that it is choice. It's not a choice. No one chooses to be abused. For years and years, I believed everything was my fault and I blamed myself for staying with my abuser for so long. I beat myself up as much as my ex husband did.
Sure, the physical pain from being beaten hurts. The emotional pain from being constantly mistreated leaves deep wounds in your heart. But the number one casualty in domestic violence is the loss of personal power. The abuser takes away the woman's personal power. Without power, the woman has no power to choose to leave.
Would you blame a rape victim for "allowing" herself to be raped? The rapist strips away the woman's personal power. In some countries, people actually do blame the victim if she is a woman. But this is America, people. Why are we so barbaric in placing blame on the victim?
If you are wondering how some battered women actually get out if they have no power and no choice, let me tell you what it takes: It takes a miracle.
*Support your local women's shelter*
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