Well, first of all, it is never "over." Whatever you've been through as a domestic violence victim, your wounds will never fully heal. Now, don't get mad that I just said that. It doesn't mean you won't find peace and a "happily ever after."
There are many wounds we will have in our life that will never heal. Losing a loved one is a prime example. I think people get in big trouble when they hold on to an ideal that life should be pain free. Who has told you you are entitled to a perfect life? Why do so many people fruitlessly spend all their time, money, and energy on attempting to make their life happy and pain free?
Pain and sorrow are only "bad" for you if you turn it into bitterness, hate, and anger.
But what if you can turn all that pain and sorrow into peace, love, hope, and joy?
Your wounds have left an opening into your heart! You can fill that opening with self pity. You may fill that hole with medication or drugs and alcohol. You may nurse your wounds with anger at your abuser. You may fill that hole with more dysfunctional relationships. If you stuff your wounds, you will eventually become a closed up woman.
Or, you may see your wounds as an opening to a relationship with your higher power. You may see that now you have a greater capacity to receive and give love. You may see yourself stripped away of pride and left a humble, weak, broken woman who has the unique opportunity to build herself back together piece by piece. That is a special position to be in. Kind of makes you feel sorry for those who have had boring lives without pain and suffering. They don't get to have as big a hole in their hearts. They won't get to have the opportunity to fill their hearts with as much beauty as you do.
I leave my wounds open now. I accept them. I embrace them. For years, I tried to close them with shame, guilt, embarrassment, and resentments. I like being open better. Beautiful things have an easier time going straight into my heart now.
So, you'll never get over domestic violence. And what you can't get over in life, you must go through. It can be a very rewarding, uplifting journey. It can be difficult and trying at times too. But the process is special if you let your higher power walk with you on your journey. Along the way, you can find forgiveness which is not a prize for your abuser, but a gift for you to move on in a positive way. And once you can openly share your story to another victim in hopes of helping them, then you will have reached a peace you could only ever imagine.
**Please support your local domestic violence center. No amount is too small. Even non profit organizations have to buy printer ink and paper. $20.00 can help make a difference in the lives of the women they support.**
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